Sunday, April 7, 2013

That Dirty Word (A Killer's Monologue)

"I used to be a man. A man with a mind geared for the petty and mundane… just like you.  I cared about things, some of which had eyeballs and hearts. Things like jobs, kittens, babies and clothes. Things I know now are all equally irrelevant. All cosmically insignificant and oh so squishable. What am I now, you ask? What can I be, if not a man? What creature looks and lives like a man, but is not a man at all? The hell if I know, still making sense of that myself. Other people call me names— people like the police or my relatives, but who are they to me? What gives them the right? Demon, madman, psychopath… all those labels make me sick, but of all the insults I’ve been called… I’d say being called human stings the absolute worst.

Humankind. What a miserable bunch. At the very least, I’m an honest being— open with my odium. Hypocritical cowards, every last one of them. They’re revolting. They lie to everyone they meet about everything, trying to hype their accomplishments or downplay their failures. They want praise, pity or any form of goddamn attention in between. I just got promoted! My wife died! I have cancer! Why the HELL should I care!? Do you shed a tear when you step on an ant? Cheer when you see a bee pollenate a flower? A human being is nothing but meat with self-awareness, riding high on their horse of moral resolution. The containment of thoughts within the brain is the only thing stopping humanity from killing each other. In that sense, I guess you could say it was my outward thinking and openness that caused me to do what I did. Honesty is my only sin. I’m far too genuine to be a human.  I don’t fit in their fake system… their crappy circles… their grubby little ‘families.’

Nauseating. Utterly nauseating. FAMILY. The very word induces vomit. The concept of family is nothing more than a pathetic excuse to exclude others from receiving your kindness. Another selfish ploy to horde love and supplies— a shameless extension of man’s obsession with immortality. You live for your family? You mean your only purpose in life is to ensure the perpetuation your meaningless genetic code. How fucking noble. Of course I hate family because it’s basically just a fatter selection of humanity, a crappy clump of man meat innately huddling for an inane desire for ‘evolution.’ Of course they arrogantly assume the continuation of mankind is considered beneficial. For whom? Not animals. Not the planet. NOT ME.

Society is the longest running joke there is. Every day is progress? Yeah, progressively worse. What does society create? What does it accomplish? More human beings and less human beings, yet sadly fate favors the former. The only reason mankind isn’t already extinct is because fucking is more socially acceptable than killing. Both are forms of pleasure. Don’t think so, eh? Don’t knock what you haven’t tried.

C’mon, now… Haven’t you ever hated someone? Not annoyed… irked… bothered… hated. ABSOLUTELY DESPISED. This person—a lightly used term—has face on which the slightest smirk can set your soul on fire. Boil your blood! RUE YOUR VERY EXISTENCE. You can think of someone… I’m sure you can. That asshole boss or backstabbing co-worker? Fake friend or a real enemy? Maybe Mom, sis, bro… or is it dear old dad? A cheating spouse perhaps? The politician ruining a country? A group you hate? That sick animal abuser you saw on the news. Rapist...? A terrorist group…? The whole country from which they hail? A serial-killer? Everyone who has ever murdered?

You see it don’t you… the color grey. It paints over that bullshit code of morality and ethics that you and the rest of your kind clutch so dearly to. You can call a grizzly bear invisible, but it will still bite your head off. You can call a lie the truth… but it will still live inside you and tear away at your mushy little human parts. When given the acceptance of society, mankind will willingly commit to committing genocide. You think you’re so different than Nazi Germany? The Pope commanded the Crusades, an absolute bloodbath. Why is a Muslim’s death more acceptable than a Jew’s? America, land of the free. Home of the brave. Site of the massive slaughter of an entire culture. God bless our troops— government sanctioned serial-killers.

There’s that word again… serial-killer. That magic word that makes everyone simultaneously defecate themselves and turn their noses in a conditioned response of disgust. I suppose you’ll tune me out now. Go ahead… go on your way and go about your day, thinking you’re morally superior. I don’t care what you think, and nor does history or the greater cosmos. I’m the happiest man alive— doing what I love."