Thursday, February 28, 2013

iPhoned In

Excuse this entry, I'm going to forgo philosophy and eloquence in favor of some idle musings in regards to the state of technology, social trends and profitable misconceptions created by clever marketing. This entry was sparked by something interesting a friend said to me the other day. Not good. Not bad. Just interesting.

"When are you getting a big boy phone, Brad?"

My friend said this jokingly, not meaning the remark to be rude in anyway, and I did not take it as such. However, it is--though unintentionally-- telling.

I have to hand it to Apple. They've managed to assert their product so far into the collective psyche of society that owning an inferior product has become characteristic to a lesser level of maturity. Maybe that's a bold jump to make from one man's offhanded quip, but just a little further down the road you'll find a growingly common public notion- who doesn't have a smart phone?

Well, actually, a great many people, and I intend to remain in that number for as long as my relic hailing from the dark ages of 2010 holds out. The iRonic (patent pending) part of it is that my cellphone will likely last me much longer than those of you with the iPhone 5 because you know you can't resist the allure of the inevitable iPhone 6. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those people running around shouting, 'smart phone, dumb brain.' It's just not for me. Never will be.

Now I know what you're thinking (or at least I'll pretend I do.) Brad! How can you knock it if you haven't tried it? Oh, but I have. An iTouch music player came into my possession a Christmas or two ago. (For those unaware, an iTouch is essentially an iPhone sans the ability to make calls and have access to 4G networks, relying on Wi-Fi instead.) My iTouch + my phone (takes pictures, videos, surfs the net with a basic browser) = iPhone. Only difference is the fact that my bill is 25 dollars a month and I'm not considered a 'big boy.'

So what was my impression of the experience?


Tell the ghost of Steve Jobs, I'm sorry. I can't help that I'm not impressed. Not being stuck in my ways or snooty here so hear me out.

Let's list the draws-- what makes a smart phone so smart.

Monday, February 25, 2013

This Thing I Found

Recently, I've found something wonderful. It's awe inspiring, so much so I believe I'm at a loss for words -- an ailment that rarely befalls me. I won't say what this thing that I found is, but I will account all the feelings it has evoked in me. When I see this thing, I find myself relaxed and excited all at the same time. This thing makes me sing songs I never even heard. I hear birds chirping at night. When things are wrong I still feel alright. This thing is like a star in the sky seen at all hours. This thing is like rose in a world without flowers. Thing made me slip into poetry with a blog entry. And I find that strange-- so delightfully.

This thing is something that I cannot identify because I've never seen anything like it. It's like a UFO, and it's abducted my senses-- including my sense of direction. I'm lost in thoughts of this thing because with it came emotions I'd long shunned for reason. Why? Because it's beyond reason... and belief. It's like pulling up a rug and finding gold floors underneath. I'm inspired in a way that makes my mind melt. You think it'll be one thing but you'd never guess this.

This thing? I'll admit...

This thing is-

- B

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Neighbors Called

then we say, (not too loud)
what gives
but the present, and accounted for
numbers off
on a holiday, free from calculators
turgid plots

hush tones power, over mono warm
fonts clash
sea foam spattering, rocks murder blood
iron tasted
like a good chef, stirring stewing boiling
pace marks

red blue nightmares, flash black hands
put up
posters over posters, town hall meeting
the end
bars bars bars, drunk dead stall
worth it


- B

Poet note: This is a form of poetry I've invented and am rather fond of. I call them "3-2-1" poems.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Dereliction of Deity

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of creative writing, and this is told from the point of view of a Catholic priest which I certainly have never been. I'm no hypocrite, I never force my opinion on anyone, so just read and don't be offended, okay? When it comes to religion, I'm all for freedom of belief and allowing individuals to find the truth that works for them (as long as it does not infringe on the inherent rights of others.) That said, I am an Atheist and damn proud of it-- willing to explain and defend my faith in humanity. Enjoy.

Dear Father,

Do not mistake this letter of concern for a prayer. Yes, when I was a much younger man I looked to you for advice-- even revered you above all else-- but alas, that time is no more. I now find your existence implausible, an angle I see as an optimistic one. If you do happen to exist, I'm terribly sorry... for you must be the loneliest creature in all 'creation.' I say this sentiment not as passive aggressive blasphemy, but out of a sense utmost and genuine pity.

Perhaps you're asking yourself why a lowly mortal would pity the great and glorious all-father, hands of earth and sky, know-er of the why and the all-seeing eye. Simple really. Your character is tragically beset by crippling narcissism, a condition made even sadder by the myth of perfection you desperately perpetuate. You say you've made man from your image, yes? Meaning our emotions are derived from your own? The Holy Bible accounts countless times when you display anger and sadness. There's no denying it, Yahweh.  The sin of humanity disturbs you, and causes you to isolate us-- damn us to hell even-- but who is really being isolated?