The Instagram Complex

I caved. I joined the one social network that I said I'd always avoid. The e-mecca of superficiality-- the watering hole for the vainest inhabitants of the internet. As many of you may have guessed, I speak of Instagram. This is my analysis of that experience.

For those of you who are out of the loop (or have priorities) Instagram is the hot, erm, new-ish social networking site that encourages you to share your photographs with random strangers in a quest to gain likes that matter about as much as the points on Who's Line is it Anyway. You use hashtags with one word descriptions of what the image is in order to get your profile and picture noticed-- ultimately to gain followers. Essentially, it's an amalgam of Facebook's liking, Twitter's conciseness and Flikr's pictures. Kinda shallow, really... at least first glace.

iPhoned In

Excuse this entry, I'm going to forgo philosophy and eloquence in favor of some idle musings in regards to the state of technology, social trends and profitable misconceptions created by clever marketing. This entry was sparked by something interesting a friend said to me the other day. Not good. Not bad. Just interesting.


"When are you getting a big boy phone, Brad?"


My friend said this jokingly, not meaning the remark to be rude in anyway, and I did not take it as such. However, it is--though unintentionally-- telling.

I have to hand it to Apple. They've managed to assert their product so far into the collective psyche of society that owning an inferior product has become characteristic to a lesser level of maturity. Maybe that's a bold jump to make from one man's offhanded quip, but just a little further down the road you'll find a growingly common public notion- who doesn't have a smart phone?

Well, actually, a great many people, and I intend to remain in that number for as long as my relic hailing from the dark ages of 2010 holds out. The iRonic (patent pending) part of it is that my cellphone will likely last me much longer than those of you with the iPhone 5 because you know you can't resist the allure of the inevitable iPhone 6. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those people running around shouting, 'smart phone, dumb brain.' It's just not for me. Never will be.

Now I know what you're thinking (or at least I'll pretend I do.) Brad! How can you knock it if you haven't tried it? Oh, but I have. An iTouch music player came into my possession a Christmas or two ago. (For those unaware, an iTouch is essentially an iPhone sans the ability to make calls and have access to 4G networks, relying on Wi-Fi instead.) My iTouch + my phone (takes pictures, videos, surfs the net with a basic browser) = iPhone. Only difference is the fact that my bill is 25 dollars a month and I'm not considered a 'big boy.'

So what was my impression of the experience?

"Meh."

Tell the ghost of Steve Jobs, I'm sorry. I can't help that I'm not impressed. Not being stuck in my ways or snooty here so hear me out.

Let's list the draws-- what makes a smart phone so smart.